Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters - 1 smile

January is the usual month for dumping movies that studios have no faith in and “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” is a real stinker that’s been sitting on the shelf at Paramount after a planned opening last March was postponed. And when a special effects action flick clocks in at less than 80 minutes, it’s a sure sign something is wrong. In this misguided movie, the grown-up Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have gone into the witch-hunting business after surviving their encounter with a witch as children. Armed with anachronistic machine guns, grenades and tasers, the brother and sister turn up in a village where the locals are about to burn a woman they believe is responsible for the disappearance of a number of children. Much to the annoyance of the sheriff (Peter Stormare), they set her free and set out to capture the real culprit, the Great Witch Muriel (Famke Janssen) and her coven before she can finish a spell that will make witches invincible.

Nothing makes a whole lot of sense in this incoherent movie, but the greater sin is having very little story. Writer-director Tommy Wirkola’s philosophy seems to be, When in doubt, stage a fight with a witch and cut off her head, which happens frequently. And he wants us to engage with his tongue-in-cheek dialogue, but it’s not clever enough to be genuinely witty. Renner looks vaguely uncomfortable throughout although Janssen seems to be having fun with her role as a really mean witch. “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” is heavy-handed and pedestrian. Skip it. 1/28/13