Rock of Ages - 2 smiles

Sometimes converting a Broadway musical into a movie works (e.g., Hairspray) and sometimes it doesn’t. Unfortunately for “Rock of Ages,” it doesn’t work. The main problem is the bland leads. Julianne Hough is supposed to be the small-town girl who goes to Hollywood so her prettiness works for her character. However, Diego Boneta lacks the edginess his character needs to be ‘a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit’ and he and Hough have no real chemistry to make their romance even half-way interesting. The story is a worn-out retread, the music watered-down versions of the heavy metal bands from the 80s and the wigs everyone wears truly awful. The more interesting aspects of the movie involve the secondary characters, including Tom Cruise as a perpetually wasted rock god and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a politician’s wife crusading against rock music.

Sherrie (Hough) arrives in Los Angeles in hopes of finding stardom. Luckily Drew (Boneta) helps her after she has her suitcase stolen and introduces her to club owner Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin), who gives Sherrie a job as a waitress. Sherrie and Drew fall in love while all at the club await a historic gig by rock legend Stacee Jaxx (Cruise). Planning to lead a protest against that show is the mayor’s wife, the conniving Patricia Whitmore (Zeta Jones). It’s really not that interesting except when Cruise is on screen. He makes a good rock star – the preening strut, the hair whipping, the bare-chested leather outfits. And he can actually sing. Nonetheless, everything about “Rock of Ages” seems plastic and superficial. 6/15/12