The Three Musketeers - 1 smile

Avoid Paul W. S. Anderson’s dumbed-down version of “The Three Musketeers.” This mess of a movie is full of countless swashbuckling fights, high-tech gadgets and a mid-air battle between two dirigibles along with modern dialogue and superhero-like abilities. Now, I ask you, does that sound anything like Alexandre Dumas’ novel? Oh, the barebones Dumas story remains: the three musketeers (Athos-Matthew Macfadyen; Aramis-Luke Evans; and Porthos-Ray Stevenson), along with novice D’Artagnan (a wooden Logan Lerman) must rescue King Louis XIII (a foppish Freddie Fox) from the evil clutches of Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz) and the double-dealing of Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich). But you also have one of the Musketeers scuba diving and looking like a ninja warrior. And the mission that opens the movie is for the three, along with Milady, to steal Leonardo da Vinci’s plans for a flying hot air warship from a booby-trapped vault that resembles something from Raiders of the Lost Ark. So, of course, you get not one but two dirigibles constructed … within a week! And Lerman, who plays D’Artagnan like a bland contemporary teenager, makes Macfadyen, Evans and Stevenson look good by comparison. The only reason I didn’t give “The Three Musketeers” 1 frown is Christoph Waltz, who’s amusingly hammy as Richelieu and seems to be enjoying himself. Too bad the same couldn’t be said for the audience. And the conclusion makes it clear that there could be a sequel. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen, 10/22/11