Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - 1 1/2 smiles

What irritates or confuses me about the movie:

• The story doesn’t always make sense. Cancel that. It doesn’t make sense at all. There’s a matrix that’s buried somewhere that unlocks a sun-killing machine and the location is locked in Sam’s brain because he touched a piece of the All-Spark. Got it?
  
• Along with his hot girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox), Sam (Shia LaBeouf) gains an annoying college roommate (Ramon Rodriguez) who then accompanies them for the rest of the movie.
  
• Sam’s mother (Julie White) is too cartoonish (she knocks herself out on a plant hanging on her front porch and eats pot brownies) and her screechy voice is like finger nails on a blackboard.
  
• Although the good guys (Autobots) fight the bad guys (Decepticons), it’s hard to tell them apart when the action starts.
  
• The ‘twin’ robots’ dialogue is stereotypically racist as is their appearance.  They have tiny heads and big ears and one of them has two huge buck teeth, one of which is gold. They’re not close to funny even though they are supposed to provide comic relief.
  
• The explosions are fight scenes (and there are many) are LOUD!
  
• Former government alien hunter Simmons (John Turturro) shows his nearly bare rear end. What’s that about?
  
• The last 50 minute goes on and on and on and on……
  
• There’s ‘divine’ intervention at the end – if you call an Autobot Valhalla divine. You see, heaven is full of Autobot Primes.

There are lots of crashes, explosions, gunfire, fighting robots and effective CGI. As the record-breaking weekend box office proves, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” remains absolutely critic-proof. But check your brain at the door and be sure to bring ear plugs if you decide to see this movie. 6/28/09